{"product_id":"boss-killer-bedtime-procrastinator-t-shirt-quietly-ascended","title":"Boss Killer, Bedtime Procrastinator T-Shirt — Quietly Ascended","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSlays the endgame boss without breaking a sweat. Cannot, under any circumstances, defeat bedtime.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWho it's for:\u003c\/strong\u003e For survival crafters, creature collectors, base builders, and server admins who know exactly how fast a relaxing game becomes a second job — and wear the wipes like a trophy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrinted on demand just for you — please allow 2–5 business days of production before shipping.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEvery purchase helps support Quietly Ascended community projects and future drops.\u003c\/p\u003e\nProduct information: Bella+Canvas 3001, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: medium heat, Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eLifestyle photos on this page feature AI-generated models (synthetic performers).\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ XS","offer_id":46139197423752,"sku":"28492639318436070596","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Athletic Heather \/ S","offer_id":46139197456520,"sku":"17184782492056724660","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":46139197489288,"sku":"24778737892814633711","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey Heather \/ S","offer_id":46139197522056,"sku":"15527067744504187030","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Maroon \/ S","offer_id":46139197554824,"sku":"28075732684051558215","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":46139197587592,"sku":"31475070958854679673","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Aqua \/ S","offer_id":46139197620360,"sku":"11115047173669974365","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Athletic Heather \/ M","offer_id":46139197653128,"sku":"25260681641902980004","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":46139197685896,"sku":"44691368976234832881","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey Heather \/ M","offer_id":46139197718664,"sku":"32381343184947073345","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Maroon \/ M","offer_id":46139197751432,"sku":"25272497705416039883","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":46139197784200,"sku":"12848182931191728344","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Aqua \/ M","offer_id":46139197816968,"sku":"25175191697039742150","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Athletic Heather \/ L","offer_id":46139197849736,"sku":"37692892596010288205","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":46139197882504,"sku":"18979285382019395378","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey Heather \/ L","offer_id":46139197915272,"sku":"13602259779934736173","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Maroon \/ L","offer_id":46139197948040,"sku":"32916792815165902056","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":46139197980808,"sku":"24504650831472071237","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Aqua \/ L","offer_id":46139198013576,"sku":"25643810389829094884","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Athletic Heather \/ XL","offer_id":46139198046344,"sku":"20466192605695111575","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":46139198079112,"sku":"44772553854026777094","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey Heather \/ XL","offer_id":46139198111880,"sku":"23471490082812098027","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Maroon \/ XL","offer_id":46139198144648,"sku":"21878932132527030414","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":46139198177416,"sku":"22560656641935966355","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Aqua \/ XL","offer_id":46139198210184,"sku":"20809017658314581473","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Athletic Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":46139198242952,"sku":"10794903134736488287","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":46139198275720,"sku":"20714388797516083965","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":46139198308488,"sku":"12151807559046172787","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Maroon \/ 2XL","offer_id":46139198341256,"sku":"28951407020027079551","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":46139198374024,"sku":"17243395953730302544","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Aqua \/ 2XL","offer_id":46139198406792,"sku":"33527387579587465032","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Athletic Heather \/ 3XL","offer_id":46139198439560,"sku":"27104238900741102028","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":46139198472328,"sku":"10088818256773809233","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":46139198505096,"sku":"26212400347477007747","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0722\/2296\/5896\/files\/front_athletic-heather__sam_8e9d51eb-383d-4404-bb94-bc1a798919d4.png?v=1783120489","url":"https:\/\/quietlyascended.myshopify.com\/products\/boss-killer-bedtime-procrastinator-t-shirt-quietly-ascended","provider":"Quietly Ascended","version":"1.0","type":"link"}